Call the police!! I just saw a crazy person in my mirror!!
The person you are trying to reach has gone to the nut house for a fun filled weekend of licking walls, and wearing a cape..please leave a message at the beep..
When I'm in an elevator, I stare at people till they get nervous then keep staring with a straight face and tell them "I got new socks, wanna see?"
Darned purple platypus
Gimme the remote and No I'm not watching u dance to eye of the tiger
only crazy ppl have imaginary friends...mine's named Bob, WHAT'S yours?
if you see me smile real big, it's not cause i have a great idea... i have an evil idea and u might wanna run
Did you konw taht yuor barin olny raeds the frist and lsat ltrtes and it doenst mtater if the ltters in bteewen are jmubeld up you can sitll raed it prfeeclty!!
when I'm good.. I'm good, when I'm evil .. I'm better! ^^
Moments of insanity, silliness and craziness are just symptoms of happiness in your life. Enjoy them, sometimes they are the best part of your day! :D
I have a Plan, I need duct tape, a dozen glowstix, a couch, 2 stix of dynamite,1 pocket sized person and my Wonderwoman Underoos...and maybe toesox...yep toesox
Being stressed is just a signal tellin you to slow down. Stressed is desserts spelled backwards. Get some icecream and let it go.
Today's mood is brought to you by a Xanax, Percocet, Morphine, vodka and red bull cocktail. Consider yourself privileged =)
is feeling the need to rock out to pour some sugar on me and dance in the bed of a pick up truck and isn't sure why
What's on your mind? FB asks...u really wanna know?? Grab a chair, sit down, take some medication and I'll begin...
When someone asks me what I'm on, I reply, "Lots of things, but we're still playing with the dosage." =)
So what's worse? Too many voices in your head, or complete silence?
is concerned that someone will try to make a psychological profile on his using his status updates!
put your hands up if you think I'm crazy... think again who's the one sticking their hand up in front of the computer :P
If someone throws skittles at me and said "taste the rainbow" then I'm gonna throw lucky charms and say "they're magically delicious" :)
my mind is taking a small vacation. will be back on who know when on whatever day and some time. leave a message at the beep . . . quack
I had a horrible day until i got bit by a purple-polka dotted unicorn and got lost in a field of candy canes on the other side of the cotton-candy rainbow
Please note: before you choose to piss me off, I suffer from mental illness so could easily kill you and plead insanity. Have a nice day :)
I've always wanted my last words to be.."Ooh what does this button do?!" lolXD
If today is tomorrow and tomorrow is yesterday and yesterday is Monday and Monday is today what day is it? Did i confuse you :P
Warning: Personality switch in progress...approach at your own risk...unable to determine which personality will be taking over...good luck!
you know what is in my head ...SQUIRRELS ... there cute puff balls of disaster
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
My mommy took me to a place where i where a white jacket that makes me warm and i get put in a room where I can bounce off the walls. Weeee!!!
**Warning** the aforementioned person is capable of going from complete sanity to utter lunacy in record time. Please proceed with caution!
I'm a pickle! hear me SQUEAK!,./ MOOOOOOOO!
I love going to my own special room! It's so fluffy and cozy! The people in uniforms give me a white jacket with shiny buttons that lets me hug myself!
And now a brief word for all you paranoid people out there: BEHIND YOU!
Don't call me crazy because I talk to pretty pink unicorns! My evil sparkly gummy bears will get you! THEY WILL EAT YOU!!!
The voices in my head are arguing so i told them to stop or I'll poke them with q-tips again
Dear Evil peeps,If you attack Me I'll get my rainbow ninja midget shark tat meows and has a donkey tail wit razor sharp teeth and big eyes.Oh yea be scared!!!
mmmm. . .coffee. the substance i drink which keeps the people safe whom practice the common art of stupidity and my sanity to co-exist with them. . .
a friend will knock at yr door a best friend well come rite on in an say im home wats for dinner
u know how ppl say that when boys are mean to u that means they like u does that mean my dad likes me??
There are two rules when in a relationship. 1: The woman is always right. 2. When in doubt refer to rule #1
Anything boys can do, girls can do better. But, girls can do it in high heels :P
i don't hate you, it's just... well, let me put it this way- i wish you would have your period in a shark tank.
life is short, so play hard and jump on a trampoline naked in the rain...at least once ;)
was at the Bank's ATM today and an old man asked me to help check his balance... So I pushed him! I'm always willing to help! ;) lol
"hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia - the fear of long words" Now that's just cruel
I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.
Problem of solving a problem is not a problem,
but when a problem solves a problem without any problem then the problem is not at all a problem . Any problem??
have you ever just wanted to run up to a stranger and say "your it" and run away? i have!
Knows that you know that I know What you know what they know, but did you know that I know what they know that you don't.
A blonde's computer says 'Press any key to start'. he sits there for 10 minutes looking at his keyboard then shouts 'WHERE IS THE 'ANY' KEY'?!
Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. I regret nothing.