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Hilarious Facebook statuses updates

Guys, how hilarious you are? Keep it! means your unique. If someone calls you: “you are so hilarious” meaning you think you’re so funny but you’re not really at all...hahaha (No, I'm just kidding :D). Anyway, I provide you here hilarious facebook statuses updates that you might like it to post it on you Facebook wall (not the real wall instead :D).



Well, here they are. I hope you like them! Don't forget to drop some comments on the box below:

My Internet is down today; I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. They are irresponsible lol

Cinderella was kicked out of Disneyland. they was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming, "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies!"

... If a flaming watermelon falls into a river a turns purple, how many gerbils does it take to unscrew a giraffe?

Damn that's a deep hole. You look stuck. How did you get in there? What? You dug it? Oh. Sucks to be you.

When being chased by police, you're best chance is to throw the passenger out the window. They will most likely stop for them, so you can get away.

sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could crap on the people I don't like.. Bahahaha :D

wonders how the people who work at the bubble wrap factory can control themselves not to pop it while they work. . .

Damn that's a deep hole. You look stuck. How did you get in there? What? You dug it? Oh. Sucks to be you.

You know you need meds when your sitting in your driver's seat with the car started and the radio on and your digging through your purse to find your car keys..

I want you, in my room, on the bed, under the covers, with no one around, so i can show you my... awesome new glow stick!!! what did you think i was gonna say?

What's the difference between a zoo and the White House? One has an African lion and the other has a lyin' African!

who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary~

If a random person comes up and throws skittles at you and says "TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW", throw a big mac at them and say, "I'M LOVING IT!!"

New motto in life- "it's not mean if it's funny"

i didn't loose my mind the people inside my head stole it and they won't give it back ! :(

It's always refreshing to here "I really don't trust you with a knife" :}

Just found out that if you bake ice cream it does NOT make ice cream cake

Duct Tape-2.00$ , Rope- 3.00$ , Blind fold -1.50$, Garbage Bags- 3.50$, Look on cashiers face- Priceless ;D

Check out another statuses you might be like it to post them below. or drop some comments on the box.

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